The Bully Within

Tell the person who bullies you the most, “it’s over,” and walk away from the mirror.” Paula Pell

“I hate the way I look.” “My nose is too big.” “I am so stupid.” We would never stand it if anyone else talked to us this way. Yet, each day, we have thousands of negative thoughts that run through our head eating away not only at our self-esteem, but filling our body with negative energy that likely affects our health and overall well-being. Self-abuse like this has become so automatic that most of the time we don’t even notice how often our bully shows up to tear us down. We even think that this kind of negative self-speak can serve to keep us in check or make sure we don’t get too big for our own good. But, the reality is that negativity of that kind, day after day, wears us down – it limits what we think we can accomplish and affects our overall self-worth. Imagine too, if you don’t think you are worth it, how can you attract people in your life that will treat you will love, respect and admiration? Driving the bully within are feelings of inadequacy and fear that we will never get what we want. By pushing ourselves down, we never have to face our biggest fears and certainly will never be able to overcome them. That is why it is so important that we tell the bully within that our relationship with them is over – that we will learn to defend ourselves and no longer tolerate such negativity. When we can begin to accept ourselves as imperfect and beautiful, our relationship with the outside world and ourself can change. By putting down the sword we use to cut ourselves down, we can heal and become our own best friend.

Weekly Path to Peace: Walk away from the bully within.

  • Begin today by observing how many negative thoughts you have about yourself. You don’t need to write them down, but start to count how many times and different ways you beat yourself up.
  • Once you have recognized the bully within, picture what that bully looks like. Often the bully within is simply a scared child that lives within us crying out for attention or something it needs. Each time you hear yourself being negative, you can simply stop, picture that small child and directly ask it what it needs. That simple act will help you better address your personal needs and allow you to build esteem and self-worth.

As you begin this week, rate your level of happiness, self-esteem and self-confidence on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being not satisfied and 10 being very satisfied. Notice where you are Sunday evening after you do this week’s peace practice to see if there is a change.