Willingness is a Must

You cannot grow unless you are willing to change.” Unknown

All change begins with willingness. And it can’t just be a spoken willingness, but one that we feel deep within ourselves. Often we can’t change our habits and patterns, the thing that holds us back might just be our own unwillingness. It may even be unconscious – we might even feel like we’re trying, but if we were not able to see results – then we might check-in with ourselves to see if we’re truly willing to grow and change. Are we saying things like “It just won’t work” or “I was born this way”? Do you actually find comfort in the things you truly dislike? These kinds of statements and thoughts might be an indication that our growth is stunted by our own deep-seated unwillingness. We may not even be aware of what willingness really is all about. It means being open to new options, possibilities and ways of doing things. It begins with challenging our beliefs and seeing if what we’ve told ourselves all along is really true. Willingness means having the humility to understand we can’t go it alone – that asking for help or learning from others might lead to the solution we’ve been looking for. And it means letting go and surrendering completely. Only when we do that, can we see the growth we’ve been seeking all along. Whether you find yourself repeatedly seeking unavailable partners, stuck in a eating disorder or more seriously harmful habits, willingness to get help – to change – to really love yourself will make the difference. Without it, you’ll remain right where you are and no matter how many books you read, courses you take or people you hire to support you – your growth will be held back. So, if you want to truly change – begin with the simple step of becoming willing.

Weekly Path to Peace: Become more willing

  • Because we get so used to our daily patterns and lives, we might not even be aware of unconscious commitments that keep us from being willing. If you aren’t achieving the goals you say you want, begin by checking in with yourself to discover ways you might be unwilling to change. Maybe you’re comfortable with your financial situation to such an extent that you won’t let that go – so finding a new career won’t really happen. Or you’re so comfortable in your relationship that you don’t really want to do the work to discover who you are. Check-in and discover all the ways you might be unwilling.
  • After you’ve looked at that, focus on how you might be willing to change. What small things are you willing to do – even if the big picture feels daunting. Pick an area where you might be willing to see possibility or get help and explore your options. Take one step toward whatever you are willing to do this week.   

As you begin this week, rate your level of happiness, self-esteem and self-confidence on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being not satisfied and 10 being very satisfied. Notice where you are Sunday evening after you do this week’s peace practice to see if there is a change.