March 30, 2015
Blame Leads To Inaction
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” Robert Anthony
Our automatic response to disappointment, loss or even heartache is to blame others for our condition. It feels good momentarily to point our finger and lay the responsibility of our condition at others’ doorstep – yet; inevitably we come to recognize that the pain doesn’t go away simply by blaming others. Indeed, each time we blame someone else for the way our life is now, we give up the power to change and go deeper into disappointment and sadness. We end up stuck, feeling like a victim and really, never have to do anything to change. And because we can’t see past the other person’s involvement, we can’t even see that we are the ones who have the power to change exactly where we are. We instead unwittingly give all the power to the person we blame and to our past circumstances – dragging them constantly into our present moment. Sometimes it isn’t until we can no longer stand the pain of our lives that we are able to awaken to our reality – that no matter where we find ourselves, we are solely responsible for the condition of our lives. Even when we have unforeseen circumstances – such as disease, divorce, joblessness or accidents – what we make of our lives going forward is completely our choice. Certainly we can sit and say “if only” that hadn’t happened, but, what good does it do? When we learn to take responsibility, we can instead learn to take small steps to climb out of the hole we feel we are in. Each moment and each day we can recommit to taking full responsibility – and – taking back our complete power to change.
Weekly Path to Peace: Release blame, take responsibility.
- Spend time this week seeing all the different ways that you blame others for what you are feeling or where you currently find yourself in your life. Have a journal or notebook handy and write down each time you catch yourself blaming someone for something. For example, you might discover something like the following “I blame my mom for not feeling confident.” Whatever it is, don’t judge it and write it down.
- Next, for each “I blame” statement, write out the powerful, new way you can take responsibility for this area of your life. If you want more confidence, promise to praise and acknowledge yourself for all of your achievements this week. If you want more peace, spend time in silence contemplation or meditation. The key is to make sure you find new choices that will empower you instead of keeping you stuck.