“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” Anonymous
One of the things I loved about being an attorney was when I said what I did, people understood my work and it came with a certain amount of prestige. I had great stories too that made me sound cool and important. But, underneath it all, being a lawyer was really a cover for me – I could hide my insecurities, my unhappiness and that feeling that something was missing.
Several years ago, before I was introduced to my current work, I was what most would consider a realist, totally left brained and definitely not woo-woo. I was, however, tired. Tired of feeling like something was always missing in my life. So after several years of following the work of best-selling author and teacher, Debbie Ford from the sidelines, I decided that I was ready to explore her work in depth and see what changes I could make. In some ways, I came to her work out of desperation because I realized that I really needed to make a change in my life if I was ever going to experience real happiness. Plus, the things that she talked about: releasing limiting beliefs, using crisis as a catalyst for change, having all the answers inside of us and lasting transformation, all sounded like things I wanted or needed in my life!
And although maybe some of it sounded too good to be true, what I learned about life coaching can be summed up this way: it is hard, takes a lot of personal commitment and a willingness to be honest and open. But, it is definitely worth it. Life coaching changed my life in ways I would never have imagined. I strengthened the relationship with my children and my now husband, I forgave my father for things I blame him for, I learned to really care and like myself, and most importantly I found my purpose in this work. I found too that it worked not just for me, but for anyone willing to commit to themselves and to real change.
The reason that coaching works is simple: although many of us may be well intentioned and well meaning, we don’t get to where we want in our lives because some thought or belief that we have carried for a lifetime stands in our way. Whether it is in our work or personal life, we are our own worst enemies in sabotaging what we most want out of life. Unlike therapy, though, coaching focuses on the future and allows the client to be his or her own agent of change. It focuses on providing the client with tools or life skills that not only build upon one another, but also help create clear goals to follow. Coaching too is limited in time; it is about facing temporary life challenges and moving forward with our lives.
Admittedly, when it comes down to it, I think that knowing this had a limited time and investment was one of the reasons I finally decided to dive into coaching. I had wanted to attend one of Debbie Ford’s workshops for years – but what stopped me is that I never thought I was worth the investment. So many of us are afraid to spend money on bettering ourselves because we are afraid it won’t work or that we aren’t worth the expense (especially when our children, spouse/partner or parents might need it). When I saw that the investment was limited, I could justify it and say, “If it doesn’t work, then I have only lost X dollars.”
The funny thing was that the core belief that I wasn’t worth it (or had to justify it) was exactly the reason that coaching was a benefit. Many people don’t realize that the belief that we are not worth it stops us from getting the help we need and from living the life we say we want. Coaching helps people change that belief (and others) so they can see possibilities where they did not before. It also helps identify and release any number of other things that stop us from having what we say we want so we can move forward in a very new and powerful way.
In short, coaching helps remove all of the things that stop us from living the life of our dreams. So, even though people don't always understand what it is that I do, I can say that I am still helping people - just this time they might be happier to hear me than they might have when I was an attorney.
For more information on all of my services including life coaching, divorce planning and mediation, please visit my Coaching Services Pages.